One does not simply walk into Mordor - a Tolkien guide to psychotropic medications

i have always thought that the names of psychotropic medications have two purposes. The first is to reassure the consumer. You need to have some sense that the meds you're on, even if they make you fat and kill your libido, will make you feel better. Hence we have medications that sound like what they are supposed to do. Abilify, a newish antipsychotic, sounds like it makes you more able. Quetiapine (also called Seroquel) sounds like quiet and quell - like they chill you out even when you say the words. Seroquel - 'calm blue ocean' - say it over - it's your new mantra. The drug companies are clever like this.

They are always clever. A long time ago i saw an ad in the New Ethicals, now called MIMS, the catalogue of drugs for doctors. It showed a sad overweight woman with stringy hair pushing a pram, with a background of a housing estate in the UK. It said 'You can't change her situation, but you can give her MOGODON'. Needless to say, Mogodon is now off the market.

The other purpose is for me to play with the idea that the names of the medication sound like characters in Lord of the Rings. High Elf King Haloperidol of the Vale of Risperidone and his consort Stelazine.  There are Man names, Elf names, Dwarf names and Orc names. Mogodon is definitely an Orc, a bad bugger at that. Clozapine is probably a dwarf. Let us play a game where we match a drug name to the Tolkien race - Elf, Dwarf, Orc or Man.

Melleril
Aripiprazole
Largactyl
Dabigatran
Clonazepam
Zopiclone
Epilim
Depixol
Carbemazapine

Note: one of these is not a psychotropic medication. Guess which, prize for the winner.

The title, One does not simply walk into Mordor, is a line from Boromir in the movie. It is also an internet meme with an occasionally hilarious website, and, i am reliably informed by the young people in my life, a drinking game. One does not simply walk into Mordor...One does not simply crawl into Mordor...One does not simply pogo into Mordor ... etc...

Only one man can simply walk into Mordor. No, no, not Chuck Norris. PIRI WEEPU!!!